I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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