We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
