You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
