yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
cat food counts as protein by the way
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
