i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
