so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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