on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
