I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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