Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
