i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
