he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
