Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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