OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
