remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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