Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
