Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
