I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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