I am in a vortex of obligation.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
This toilet bowl is my home.
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