Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
