She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
