I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
