How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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