you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
