I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
