I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
