Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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