oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
