He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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