your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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