That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Pants are for mortals
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
