im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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