so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
