Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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