five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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