If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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