Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
