I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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