Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
