i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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