Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
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