What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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