Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
