He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
