Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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