i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
