i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
