Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
