So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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