you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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