Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
