I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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