got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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